I do exist.

I came back into existance this morning. Hurrah! I woke up nice and late (10:00, w00t!) and got ready to hike to the Social Security office downtown. And since it was about -500º out there this morning, it took awhile since I had to do some intense bundling, but eventually I was off. Let the fun begin...

First of all, I wasn't entire sure of where I was going, so it felt like I had walked for eternity by the time I actually found it. Then I learned if you want to knife/shoot someone, the Pittsburgh Social Security office is the place to do it. You walk in and a security officer asks: "Do you have any knives or weapons?" Now, I have three things to say about this: 1) Who says yes to that?! "Why yes, sir, I have a machine gun right here and a knife strapped to my calf!"; 2) Why are they including knives as a separate category? Last time I checked, knives were weapons; and 3) It doesn't really matter if you lied about said weapons since there are no metal detecting devices and/or body checks. Next comes the cell phone ban. Mr. not-so-secure security guard asks if its been turned off, and again, the answer is always yes. And there are CLEARLY signs all over the place with big red X's through cell phones.

So this brings me to my actual Social Security experience. First, there was cell phone man. He had it out, taking pictures, chatting with his daughter, letting his grandson pound random buttons. Clearly against the rules... in a federal building. Now I don't know about you, but personally, if I had to pick a building to very closely follow the rules, it'd be a federal one. But I guess that's just me. Whatever. And as for any weaponry present, the SSA office is not exactly frequented by the most reputible people. I'm sure plenty were packing but again, the not-so-secure security guard wasn't really gonna do anything about that.

So basically, its the place to go and shoot/knife people while chatting about it/taking picures of your spree on your cell phone.


And, oh, in case anyone is interested, I haven't blown blue boogers since Monday morning.