What do you suppose comes in a "Plan B Purse" from the Pittsburgh rape prevention people?

If you're me...or pretty much the rest of my floor, the answer is the morning after pill. The lady holds up her shiny little purse and all I could think was "omg, they're giving us the morning after pill...I'm not sure that's Duquesneable.."

Turns out, its a little case for extra money for a cab, a list of important phone numbers and "anything else you might think of." Much to everyone's disappointment, no one suggested a condom when asked what that anything else might be.

Also, we got a list of "101 Things to Do in the 'Burgh," which reminds me a lot of Miss Block's "101 Ways to Say NO" poster. "I have a sunburn..."

Back to School

I'm all moved in now. And not a moment too soon. I think I would have killed my mother if I had to spend another second with her today. She suggested putting our dressers in the MIDDLE of the room so we could have an island. Yeah. Luckily Jamie's boyfriend found a better, LOGICAL way to arrange the room. Yay!

And well, no experience would be complete without me injuring myself in some ridiculous way. Unbeknownst to me, the "On" button on my straightener was somehow pushed. I plugged it in. About ten minutes later, I attempted to move it. I straightened my palm. OUCH!

In other news, I went to the Weir game last night since no one was around and I was bored. While the band still sucks ass, WE DON'T HAVE A DANCELINE!!!! The world is a better place.

News 9 has problems.

So I'm 99% sure that good ol' Natalie Pasquerela just said "problemsome" while talking about a TROUBLEsome intersection in Steubenville.

But hey, why be surprised? This is the same woman that said -ahem- "Parishoners from all of the Valley gathered in area churches today to celebrate Easter Sunday on which Christians mark THE BIRTH of Jesus Christ." Resurrection was probably too complicated for her to say.

And finally, a few weeks ago, equally retarded John Paul was talking about an ATV accident in Monroe County, OH. MONROE COUNTY. Remember that. Segment's closing sentence: "This latest accident brings the total number of ATV deaths in Ohio County to 34."

Gaaah!

I don't wanna....

• 1. PACK: I'm too OCD to pack. For some reason, I think my junk has to be packed in a certain manner. And I like things to be even, categorized and if possible, in some sort of pattern. Yeah. I need tranquilizers.
• 2. GO BACK TO SCHOOL: The second half of summer went too fast. I feel like I just got back from camp yesterday and would rather like some time to lay around and rot. Stupid work.
• 3. LEARN STUFF: Thanks to our favorite cranky old men: Carey, Colabrese and Caritis, I didn't actually learn much last year. Chem was the only exception, of course. College isn't big on the Methane Mamba. Mythbusters is, however, it was on there the other day!...and Pringle Can Rockets and launching stuff with liquid nitrogen. I was pretty much reliving AP. Anywho, I actually have to learn stuff and -gasp- study (maybe) this year. I am not looking forward to this.
• 4. BLOW AWAY, SCALE A MOUNTAIN FOR FOOD, SLEEP 5FT OFF THE GROUND, ETC: Our campus is extremely windy, I like being able to walk 10 ft to the kitchen for food and not taking a running start to leap into bed is generally desireable.

I do, however, want to live at college...its just the school part that's most of the problem. There are no parents, dishes to put away, wailing dogs to feed or brothers to take up useless space at college. There is, however, art class. -vomits- I'm pretty sure that's why I don't want to go back.

Fourth Amendment, what Fourth Amendment?

Chelsy and I once wanted to play the "Banana Game" on the phone but substitue bomb for banana. So bomb every bomb sentence bomb would bomb sound bomb like bomb this bomb....and then see if we FBI/CIA/NSA came a-knocking.

Well today PNC Bank called me to report a "suspicious increase in account activity." That is, of course, if you count large charges at Barnes & Noble (my books for school, duh!) on a Student Plus Account...or whatever the heck it's called...suspicious. Now it's nice to know they're watching out for me and all, making sure no one steals my identity. Why anyone would steal a college student's identity, I do not know... But the fact that my PNC representative, who I'll call Raj and who's probably sitting in a nice little cubicle in Bangalore, India, is sitting there watching what I buy...and then probably telling our oh so wonderful government about it, sorta irks me. But whatever. "Raj" said Ruszkowski correctly so he can stay.

Sweet, SWEET Rewards

Today was quite possibly the most bipolar, yet best, day ever.

I woke up bright and early because I had to take 10 more pages of ads to the printer. I had to work last night but got sent home early since my dude got shipped to psych. Good thing. Those ads were waiting for me when I got home. Apparently, dropping everything off at the printer yesterday morning is meaningless... Oh well, whatever, I did those for a few hours last night and thought I was finally done. Finished. The fat lady had sung.

Incorrect.

As I was about to dry my hair, my dad knocked to inform me that he just found another two pages' worth of ads laying under his stuff downstairs, musta missed them last night. Grand. But I'm pretty sure I love whoever sent them since they had the Newbrough file number I needed, thus making it a fairly quick process. So I made those, made a new disc with the updated program and dropped everything off at the printer.

Then I went to Duane's for a while before we went to Tomlinson Run to get a boat. Well, the place was closed so we just walked on a trail. Almost got eaten by a few giant spiders and threw rocks over the hill since apparently, boys never grow out of that. :-p So that made for quite a nice afternoon.

And now for the best part... My dad just got home from the booster meeting, where they voted to give me $1,000 instead of $500. Oh yes.

I Own the Boosters' Souls

About this time last week, my dad knocked on my bedroom door, looking a touch panicked, and said he had a question for me. Kris Taflan, the woman who was supposed to be designing the program since MAY, has come to the conclusion that she can't possibly get it done in time to be at the printer by Monday morning. -Ahem- MONDAY MORNING! So, Kailey, could you please, please, please, pleeeeeeease do it for us?! And well, I can't say no to people in need...or $500 and a whole bunch of random presents from people whose asses I saved...I said yes.

My dad had a few business ads at the house already that I worked on until I got the bulk of the stuff from Kris on Tuesday after the Booster meeting. Now, the woman has had this stuff for months--MONTHS--and 99% of the businesses use exactly the same ads every year so all she's gotta do it hit the copy button and she's done, so I find a disc she's made and assume that it probably has all the ads she's already done. Oh I wish. It contained one ad...that I already did..and the rest of the stuff was in complete disorder. And so begins my program-making hell.

I spent most of Wednesday afternoon and evening with Duane, so I didn't really start until that night. I worked on it until about 2:30am. Then I spent ALL of Thursday, save a two hour Eat-N-Park break, on the damn thing. Around this time is when my dislike of Newbrough Photo progressed into a deep, seething hatred. It's always a fun time when you open the picture file that's supposed to be Jeff Quickle, a nice little freshman that lives by me, but get Vance Miller, a very large and somewhat scary looking senior. Nevermind that all the pictures pretty much suck. Gah, Brownie could take better pictures!

But now the program is all printed out. My printer is still crying, lol. And in order, so I just have to drop it off at the printer on Monday morning. And oh yes, the best part: Tony's back is hurt again and he can't play, so he just quit since it's too depressing to just stand there and watch. So while my dad is still president and all that jazz, we don't actually have a kid playing football...

Family...

My cousins from Harrisburg are here. I want to shoot myself. Frankie is a touch insane and starving for attention. Oh well. At least he finally learned how to swim so Sandcastle didn't suck...except for the really itchy sunburn on my chest now. Bleh! Then we went to Kennywood for the evening. The Swing Shot= not so thrilling. And oh yes! It was cheerleader day. Duane thought some little middle school whores' shirts said "I'm cheap," which from how they were dressed is an entirely reasonable mistake to make. They actually said "NH Cheer."

Today we had a cookout with them and did such exciting things as rip branches off our birch tree to build a bird nest hotel, throw rocks at tadpoles and try to catch the shark that lives in the pond that's now back by where the old hospital was (Tony's creation...3 kids used to live next door, 2 of them were eaten by the shark though). And then they left..WOO!

The Worst Day of Work....EVER

I was propositioned/proposed to several times by a crazy man. He also decided to start playing with himself in the room full of people. No further description of my day is necessary.


In other, much less disturbing news, I do not have mono. Hoorah! But, alas, I still can't breathe.

Adventures in Acute Care

So I had to go to the doctor today since, well, I finally decided to stop ignoring my inability to breathe....for the last six months. Oops? And since I have no plans to leave Dr. Surray and her adolescent medicine goodness until they heave me out the door on my 22nd birthday, I was tagged a "sick visit" instead of a "well visit" and sent upstairs to the Acute Care Clinic with a nice bunch of puking, ear-infected toddlers. Thats ok, minus the one girl who was wretching into a bucket, it wasn't so bad and Michael Buffo was there with the cold that never ends so yay, I wasn't the only one 3x's older than the rest of the patients, lol.

Anywho, the NP, Lisa, thinks I'm either anemic for some reason or I have a latent virus...like mono or strep...since I have big lymph nodes. And that means blood work and an EKG. Much to my surprise, however, Weirton Medical was FAST! Like it only took me about 25 minutes, which in my experience there neeeeeever happens. We'll chalk that up to who wasn't working. -cough, Jessica and lab girl who takes lots of breaks but whose name I don't know, cough- Yeah, so I still have some pent up rage from my Info Desk days.

Hopefully, the bloodwork comes back saying I'm anemic and she tells me to take a vitamin or something. Otherwise, I gotta get all sorts of fun lung tests, argh. In the meantime, I'm eating coco wheats and drinking orange juice, what lovely medical advice, lol.