I'm a 55 year old man...

So said John about 289347239847 times tonight. This definitely made for a perfect last day of work: A patient so crazy and unbearable that while the time passed quickly since I certainly wasn't bored, it was an "OMG I hate my job!" kind of night. No second guessing that two weeks notice. Nope. No way. There was, however, joyous skipping to the parking garage.

Today being Easter, however, means that John couldn't possibly have been the strangest part of my day. Oh no, religious holidays bring the religious nuts out of the woodwork. So there I was, sitting in the little vending area of the cafeteria, minding my own business and trying to enjoy my stuffed shells and hot sausage, and who do I find myself in this room with? Only the most religiously insane woman ever to live, of course. Here is a summary of her phone conversation:

• Sweet Jesus!, Lord Almighty! and Amen, hallelujah! should be interjected after nearly every word.
• There are "EPs" in the world that do harm to babies, people and human beings, sweet Jesus, amen! Also, dry cleaning chemicals harm babies, people and human beings.
• EPs are responsible for great evil, however, I don't think it stands for "evil people" since she also rambled about evil doers for a while, sweet Jesus, Almighty!
• She thinks when she goes back to work that God wants her to stick to cleaning bathrooms, not doing the laundry. He answered her in the letter she wrote to Him.

Good times, good times. I might almost miss this job, I thought. Nope, John is whacking his head off the wall again. I hate this job. Goodbye, crazy man!